Dear Soon-to-be-former Press Secretary Scott McClellan, (April 19, 2006)
When you rose to your post after Ari, looking for all intents and purposes like a headlight shot out of a deer, I thought you were stupid and contemptuous. Often I have pitied you. In time, however, much have I given you a grudging respect, admiring your “honest, guv, it wasn’t me” innocent’s stare and exasperated stonewalling. It takes a lot of courage to shield a corrupt, criminal incompetent in the Executive Office; it takes even more courage to protect that corrupt, criminal incompetent when you know he’s a corrupt, criminal incompetent and yet the very essence of your job is to be publicly seen as doing your job.
And now, Scott, after all this, jumping ship in your innocent ratty way a mere day after the “all ashore that’s going ashore” call, I can just imagine the beatific smile of relief wreathing your face as you go home to the wife, anticipating that first post-press secretary shower you will have, the steam rising up and sloughing off the duplicitous, cruel stench clinging to your skin each day like cigarette smoke and dung and rotting vegetables –
– and Scott, I’m happy for you. I really am. Bonne chance. Good night, and good luck.
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